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arthur-library-cardYou’re right Arthur, books are fun. They’re a gateway into other worlds, other times and other lives. Books are an escape, an adventure, a journey. I adore books.

I’ve always been a voracious reader, ever since I was a very small child. I devoured books, reading one after another without pause. I stayed up late most nights, solely because I was unable to put down my current book. My mom yelled and I was always cranky in the mornings but I had to find out what happened.

In elementary school the librarian taught me how to use the computer system so I was able to check out books myself. I think she just got sick of my revolving door book borrowing.

I could probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve not finished a book. Even when they’re awful I can’t put them down or I’ll be left wondering what happened.

Unfortunately, Arthur was wrong about the first part. Finding time to read is fucking hard. Especially once adulthood sets in. The Hobbit recently came out in theatres and it then became doubly apparent to me how little time I have for reading.

I originally read the Hobbit in grade 4 but I decided, in honour of the movie, to reread it. While I was at it, I began reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy. For the first time. Ever. I know, I suck.

This may be the longest it’s ever taken me to read a book. Multiplied by three. It’s taken me longer than it took the Jews to wander the desert to finish these books. Longer than it takes to play a game of Risk. Longer than it takes my computer to load porn… I would guess.

The worst part is, I bought a library card 4 months ago and haven’t used it once. So, I’ve resolved to read more. Not only that, to read better. Without further ado, I introduce,

The Book List Challenge

1. 1984 George Orwell

2. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn Mark Twain

3. The Alchemist Paulo Coelho

4. Alice in Wonderland Lewis Carroll

5. All the King’s Men Robert Penn Warren

6. All the Pretty Horses Cormac McCarthy

7. The Ambassadors Henry James

8. And Then There Were None Agatha Christie

9. Anne of Green Gables L.M. Montgomery

10. Beloved Toni Morrison

11. Brave New World Aldous Huxley

12. Brideshead Revisited Evelyn Waugh

13. Bridget Jones’s Diary Helen Fielding

14. The Call of the Wild Jack London

15. The Canterbury Tales Geoffrey Chaucer

16. Catch-22 Joseph Heller

17. The Catcher in the Rye J.D. Salinger

18. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Roald Dahl

19. Charlotte’s Web E.B. White

20. Cloud Atlas David Mitchel

21. The Color Purple Alice Walker

22. A Confederacy of Dunces John Kennedy Toole

23. Count of Monte Cristo Alexandre Dumas

24. Crime and Punishment Fyodor Dostoyevsky

25. Darkness at Noon Arthur Koestler

26. Don Quixote Miguel De Cervantes

27. Dracula Bram Stoker

28. Dune Frank Herbert

29. The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test Tom Wolfe

30. Fahrenheit 451 Ray Bradbury

31. A Fine Balance Rohinton Mistry

32. Go Tell It on the Mountain James Baldwin

33. The Golden Notebook Doris Lessing

34. Gone With The Wind Margaret Mitchell

35. The Good Soldier Ford Madox Ford

36. The Grapes of Wrath John Steinbeck

37. Gravity’s Rainbow Thomas Pynchon

38. Great Expectations Charles Dickens

39. The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald

40. Gulliver’s Travels Jonathan Swift

41. Hamlet William Shakespeare

42. The Handmaid’s Tale Margaret Atwood

43. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone J.K. Rowling

44. The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter Carson McCullers

45. Heart of Darkness Joseph Conrad

46. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Douglas Adams

47. Howard’s End E.M. Forster

48. In Search of Lost Time Marcel Proust

49. Invisible Man Ralph Ellison

50. Jane Eyre Charlotte Brontë

51. The Kite Runner Khaled Hosseini

52. Les Miserables Victor Hugo

53. Life of Pi Yann Martel

54. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe C.S. Lewis

55. The Little Prince Antoine De Saint-Exupery

56. Little Women Louisa M Alcott

57. Lolita Vladimir Nabokov

58. Lord of the Flies William Golding

59. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring J.R.R. Tolkien

60. Madame Bovary Gustave Flaubert

61. Main Street Sinclair Lewis

62. The Maltese Falcon Dashiell Hammett

63. Memoirs of a Geisha Arthur Golden

64. Middlemarch George Eliot

65. Midnight’s Children Salman Rushdie

66. Moby Dick Herman Melville

67. Naked Lunch William S. Burroughs

68. Native Son Richard Wright

69. Northern Lights (The Golden Compass) Philip Pullman

70. The Old Man and the Sea Ernest Hemingway

71. On The Road Jack Kerouac

72. One Hundred Years of Solitude Gabriel Garcia Marquez

73. A Prayer for Owen Meaney John Irving

74. Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen

75. The Remains of the Day Kazuo Ishiguro

76. The Scarlet Letter Nathaniel Hawthorne

77. The Secret Garden Frances Hodgson Burnett

78. The Secret History Donna Tartt

79. A Separate Peace John Knowles

80. The Shadow of the Wind Carlos Ruiz Zafon

81. Sister Carrie Theodore Dreiser

82. Slaughterhouse-Five Kurt Vonnegut

83. Sons and Lovers D.H. Lawrence

84. The Sound and the Fury William Faulkner

85. Stranger in a Strange Land Robert Heinlein

86. Swallows and Amazons Arthur Ransom

87. The Time Traveler’s Wife Audrey Niffenegger

88. To Kill a Mockingbird Harper Lee

89. To the Lighthouse Virginia Woolf

90. A Town Like Alice Nevil Shute

91. Tropic of Cancer Henry Miller

92. Ulysses James Joyce

93. Under the Volcano Malcolm Lowry

94. War and Peace Leo Tolstoy

95. Watership Down Richard Adams

96. The Way of All Flesh Samuel Butler

97. The Wind in the Willows Kenneth Grahame

98. Winnie the Pooh A.A. Milne

99. Wuthering Heights Emily Bronte

100. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance Robert M. Pirsig

I’ve read 18 of the books on this list, they’ve been highlighted. I plan on rereading them all, excluding the Lord of the Rings. I literally just finished reading it. It was tedious (the fuck was up with all the singing?!) and I’m no glutton for punishment. Except when it comes to ice cream, I’ll eat that shit until I explode.

I’ll be updating you periodically on my progress, so just let me hang on to the illusion that you care.